Monday, April 13, 2009

I dream of Reality?


Drawing by Neil Hague


In its grasp I lay, powerless and fearful. Its deep black eyes take hold of me as I try to escape. Large, black and menacing they pierce my flesh like the blade of a knife. The walls tremble as more faces emerge from the dark - their eyes fixating on me as if attempting to feed on my fear. Pieces of the ceiling crumble and fall onto the bed beside me as more and more faces break through the walls. Their voices echo through my mind, causing my head to ache. The volume of their chant increases as more faces emerge. Now I am surrounded by several beings and disoriented by their presence. I close my eyes as fatigue encompasses my body and I feel myself falling through the air. Right before hitting the ground I wake up drenched in sweat. It was only a dream.


Ever since I was a child, I can remember having vivid dreams that seemed too real to be true, almost as if I were actually experiencing a different reality that was as real as the world outside my dreams. They were whole worlds different then the one that I lived in. Often my body would become susceptible to the anxiety, emotion, and pain that I was experiencing in my dreams. I could be painting a picture of a beautiful woman and listening to a classical symphony all while sleeping in my bed. Every moment I spent dreaming was a moment filled with adventure and mystery. What were these realities that I was experiencing? Were they real or just creations of my mind and my imagination?

The dream hypothesis suggests that these sense qualities that I experience in my dreams are contributed by me. That is to say that when I see a red rose and smell it and feel it, in my dream, I am receiving that information from my senses. This dreamed activity causes chemical reactions to occur, thus stimulating those senses. It is not a new experience that is occurring but rather the memory of my senses smelling, feeling and seeing the red rose. My mind contributes these experiences and I am tricked into believing that I were really holding a red rose in my hand. But if this hypothesis is the truth and dreams can be as real as the real reality, then how would I know when I was dreaming or awake? The Dream Hypothesis also suggests that an inability to rule out that I am dreaming is due to the fact that all the external objects in the environment create the reality and are not just content occupying space.

The mind is a very powerful instrument that functions as the central element in our complex arsenal of intellectual prowess. Without it, we would diffidently be in the dark. But can we truly say that the mind is just an organ that processes and holds information or is there more to what the mind does and can achieve? It is true that scientists are only now beginning to understand the human mind and how it operates and processes information. When we use our senses to perceive objects, science explains that chemical reactions occur in our brain that receive and transmit the information to the eyes, eardrum and skin to produce the sensation of smooth surface or a red apple.

The egocentric predicament argues that an object viewed by two different people could appear identical to both minds, but how could we possibly know for sure what each person is seeing? The argument suggests that each of us can only indirectly relate to another’s thoughts and experiences. This means that we can never, for sure, know what another person sees, feels and perceives of the world. We only have access to our own thoughts.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ars poetica

I am in the mood for inspiration and the mentality of moving freely without holding back and falling victim to fear of embarrassment. I lack the mood to make this happen, for I am without trust and confidence, without faith in my self. This perspective that I lack is my quest to be more than what I am in this world. Can it be that I think to be more than every other person in front of me or am I only seeking to please those who would hate me for being me. I only want peace, but I feel that I am chasing solitude and displeasure. In this world, I live for peace and tranquility and the act of living for happiness, but I seek ownership, wealth and the material. Looking outside of myself is moving me to hate everything about myself, both creatively and physically. I want to see the inner self, my most prised possession, thy self in the pure core of my being, without flesh or ego. That is my creativity, my source of life, confidence, faith, love and happiness. That is what I seek the most. That is my creativity, my inspiration, my perspective.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

El Amor Encontrado

El amor llego a mi vida el dia que te conoci. Antes era solo la ilusion del amor lo que crei haber encontrado. Busque el amor que tanto mi corazon deseaba en tantos lugares equivocados y cuando ya me canse de buscarlo, el me encontro a mi.

Llegaste a mi vida y me abristes los ojos y me hizistes ver un mundo que pense se habla perdido ya para siempre. Solo tu supistes rescatar en mi el sentimiento mas lindo que pueda existir, recuperastes el amor que se habia muerto en mi.

Ahora todo lo veo mas claro y distinto. Siento que tu eres mia y que yo no me pertenezco a mi mismo sino que soy tuya. Te amo demasiado amor mio y estoy dispuesto a darlo todo por hacerte la mujer mas feliz. Gracias por existir en mi vida y por amarme tanto.

Siempre te extraño amor.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I Think Therefore I Am.....


Not a day passes when I don't sit and think. I often find myself staring into space and pondering the most peculiar things - occupying my mind with fantastic and outlandish notions about life and being. When I read, my eyes tire easily and the words blurr into nothingness and information is lost as my thoughts wander to some dark corner of my mind. Is there something in that dark region of my mind trying to get my attention? Am i supposed to recognize a sign or notice a pattern? This may be premature, but I feel that I am on the threshold of something wonderful and perhaps life changing. I am opening the door to a new level of awarness.

This semester I have continued my studies of philosophy. I am discovering it to be refreshing and out of this world. There are so many things to think about and to grasp. Every class I have is filled with discussion - delving deep into human conciousness and beyond. The wealth of knowledge possed by the professor never ceases to amaze me. Even after class I engage in converstaion and philisophical discussion with my brother and I lose my self in the pages of my philosophy book. I even set aside time just to think and to be.

But as I am facinated by metaphysics, reality, logic, ethics and truth, I am also bothered by where all of this will lead me. Why do I seek this knowledge? What about myself do I want to discover? My uncle once told me not to let philosophy take me away from what I believe. Those words carry more weight now. I think I understand what he was was getting at. At first I believed he was preaching the word of God, but now I suspect that there was something more behind his ideology. My belief system has been shaken by what I have been studying. Sometimes I don't know what to believe. It is hard to ascertain truth from fantacy and legitimacy from conspiracy. As a student of philosophy I should have clarity of mind, but more then often my mind is clouded in confusion.

What of this confusion frightens me? What of philosophy removes those beliefs that I have so blindly and willingly become victim to over the course of my existence? What truth do I seek? Questions...questions....and more questions.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Paradise

Pieces of shell and rock line and mix into the brown, hot sand as the water rushes in and disturbs its cohesion. My toes are tangled in the sand as I walk; it is smooth and wet, almost like raw cooking dough beneath my feet. In some spots it is intensely hot.

The heat from the sun absorbs quickly through my skin and I can hear the chatter of people all around me. There are different languages; Spanish, Portuguese and others that I can’t make out. In the distance, I can see a pair of seagulls flying over the rich blue water of the ocean, landing on the surface and taking off again. It is as if they are playing a game of tag.

Beside me stands a beautiful Latin princess. She is a splitting image of the girl in my fantasies. Her silky smooth hair raps around her caramel golden shoulders, almost hugging them. She plays with my fingers and looks at me. Her lips form a smile as she whispers into my ear. Her name is Natalia.

When I look into her eyes, I feel a tingling sensation make its way up my spine and into my arms and legs. Her pupils get larger, as she gazes into my eyes. The more I look into them the weaker I become. I feel my heart pounding against my chest; it is almost painful, forcing the blood through my arteries. Goose bumps sprout all over my body as I am immobilized by her attractiveness.

We walk slowly down the beach together, enjoying the magnificent landscape of tall and short beach front condominiums with balconies from which the whole of Cartagena, Colombia can be seen. I stand in awe at the sight of palm trees dangling in the wind and beach venders selling fruit by the ocean. It is paradise.

To be continued.....